Friday, June 27, 2008


As a rabid Firefly and NPH fan I was so happy to read this.

Everybody keep their ocular sockets focused here to see what happens.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

New favorite word

Well, except for douchenoodle (obv). To use it in a sentence:

"In about three weeks the crew will be sojourning to Athens to help put through college as many ecdysiasts as we can. Preferably blond. Matt won't know what hit him."

Everybody try to use it at work tomorrow.

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Damn it feels good to have a closer
A real closer-ass pitcher plays his cards right
A real closer-ass pitcher never runs his fuckin mouth
Cuz real closer-ass pitcher don't start fights
And pitchers always gotta high cap
Showin' all his boys how he shot em
But real closer-ass pitchers don't flex nuts
Cuz real closer-ass pitchers know they got em
And everythings cool in the mind of a closer
Cuz closer-ass pitchers think deep
Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7
Cuz real closer-ass pitchers don't sleep

And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin', pussy-eatin' hosers
Cuz when the fry dies down what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to have a closer

Sometimes, the only way to get the proper emotion across is to paraphrase the Geto Boys. I'd like to make that into a Hallmark card.

Of course, I'm referring to the return of Mike Gonzalez to the Braves last night. This closer by committee of fucktards isn't working. The collective douche wafflage of the bullpen has robbed the Braves starting pitching of too many wins.

The disappointment of neither Soriano or Smoltz panning out for closing really sucked. Hopefully me jumping on the bandwagon of Gonzalez this early won't lead to disastrous results. But it looks like he waited until he was fully ready to come back.

I don't remember much of him from last year. He went down so early that I didn't remember him or his pitching style. Has he always done that stand on the side of the mound and rock his shoulders thing? Dunno, but that has to be intimidating as hell to batters when he follows it up with that high heat.

I can't remember which batter it was last night, but dude kept stepping out of the box. I could see the fear in his eyes. Maybe he just had to piss, but it looked like fear to me.

That distinctive pitching style deserves giving him a nickname. I propose calling him "The Cobra". He moves back and forth hypnotizing and assessing the batter and then strikes!

I tried to find a clip on youtube of Gonzalez but failed. I guess if you want to see The Cobra in action you will have to watch some Braves games, which everybody should be doing anyway.

I hope my sports prediction is not the kiss of death it usually is, but I'm just so excited. The Bravos might have a chance this year after all.


Sunday, June 15, 2008

Mobile bar blogging

I'm sitting here at Limerick enjoying a few brews and reflecting on how awesome that Turkey v Czech Republic game was. There has been some spotty keeper play throughout this Euro tourney but this game was won with, for lack of a better term, heart. Hell of a comeback for Turkey. I don't understand why more Americans don't watch soccer. Oh well, time to watch USA v Barbados (obviously not Euro but World Cup qualifiers).

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Shoot me now

I've never been one to just bitch about my beats or bad play on the virtual felt, but the past two weeks have been brutal. I'm talking Metalocalypse brutal. The last two weeks in sporadic play I am down 5 buy ins (I know, that's small change to real ballas, but it deters me) on some stupid shit. It is about 75-25 beats to idiotic play. KK < J8o most recently. But the ones that have been killing me are the AKs < AJo and AQs < AJo (three buy ins on those). Must.....control....tilt..... I don't claim to be good at this game, but I should be able to smack these low limit donks around.

Oh well, must run now. Looks like LB ate a salmonella tomato tonight on her burger and is feeling like Pukey Winchester.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

All I can say is....

Am I bitter or just cynical because I agree with him?

[Edit: I just read through more of his posts. Good stuff throughout.]