Thursday, September 25, 2008

Freaky

I don't know who has all tried this before but just do it as you sit at your computer.

Lift your right foot up and move it in a clockwise circle.
Now write a 6 in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?

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Counterclockwise. Freaky deaky. The only time it didn't change direction on me I drew the 6 backwards.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mmmm...chicken

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures


Now that looks like fun. And for all the people who never understood how the people (read as male nerds) of my generation watched Dragonball Z I have the comic for you.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Three in one day!

My, oh my. Three blog posts in one day. I just had to share this great thing by Bruce Sterling. I've never been a big Sterling fan but this is awesome.

[h/t tor.com]

Why does this not surprise me?

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Halon/Hochuli

So I'm sitting at work around 2015 last night when the fire alarm bell goes off. No reason to panic, I don't see any flames. The rest of the people in the office and I check the rest of the building and the only alarm going off is the bells on our wing on our floor. The horn and the flashing alarm lights aren't going off, just this fucking annoying bell.

After about 5 minutes I just say "Fuck it" and get back to work. I still have fifteen people I have to nursemaid before I can head home. That doesn't mean I don't pack up my laptop, iPod, and Blackberry and get ready to roll out if the midden hits the windmill.

We get the building's super to come in and check out what is happening. By now the alarm has been going off a half hour and I have a splitting headache from the goddamn alarm. I'm down to about four "children" left when I hear a loud BOOM!

I turn around and see all the people from the back half of the room running and look over the partition to the glass walled server room to see the Halon system going off. It was pretty fucking cool. Just a cloud of gas turning the room opaque. And now the entire fire alarm system was going off; the flashing lights, the booming horn, the midget on the Shriner car sized fire truck was released from his cage (well, not really that but wouldn't that be the awesome?).

I shoot off a quick message to my guys that I will be incommunicado because the district office might be burning down and to call onsite management if they have any problems. I grab my shit and hit the doors. Good thing we are on the ground floor.

The only people in the building are my department and the call center upstairs and we congregate in the parking deck. Lucky motherfuckers from the call center just head home while my department just huddles up and goes of how much fun that was. I also got to explain what Halon was to my coworkers, who thought it was smoke in the server room.

The fire department shows up 10 minutes later and after they have been in the building (sans gear) for about another 10 minutes we decide to go back in. Shit, I had to close down my gmail so none of the daytime fuckers I work with could prowl through my personal life.

I come back in to the fire department personnel walking out of the server room saying "The good news is, I don't know what caused this. The bad news is, I don't know what caused this." I shut down all the personal shit on my work comp, checked to make sure all the rest of my kids were done, called onsite management to let them know what was going on, and got the fuck on home.

Good times, good times. I look forward to the next false alarm where I can see the Halon system popping off. I'm just disappointed that I actually have to be at work today and they won't be replacing our horribly outdated workstations.

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Now for my prognostications. You heard it here first people. Next year on Law & Order there will be an episode ripped from the headlines about this Ed Hochuli mess. I'm not sure what the twist will be. Either a law partner, wife, mistress, estranged gardner, or pet will try to make it look like and outraged fan/bookie did the deed.

If I was a writer who had an in on that show, talent, and actually knew how to write an hour long cop drama I would have banged that shit out in six hours and had it in a studio execs hands first thing Monday morning.

If you don't know what I'm talking about here, you're obviously not a golfer.

Monday, September 15, 2008

History of the World: Part Pi

Hmmm. I could write about how happy I am that football is back. I could write about how my boys at Tech gave the game away on Saturday. I could write about how I'm not really disappointed in the Falcon's loss on Sunday. I could write about how awesome it was to have the Braves finally bust that one run road loss streak and then fucking up the Mets' bullpen in another game.

I could muse upon the slippery slope that is the political landscape. I could bitch about not being able to make the hunting trip this year. I could do my planned reviews of David J Williams' Mirrored Heavens and George Alec Effinger's When Gravity Fails (it was going to be an old school v new school sff battle of two great novels). I could share just how much the passing of David Foster Wallace affects me.

But no. I'm going to stick with what is important.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Yup, old

Who Says College Doesn't Prepare You for the Real World?
Frat boy: If you press your thumb hard in the middle of your forehead it stops your gag reflex for a minute.
Girl: Uhhh how do you know that?
Frat boy: I learned it at my frat, you can swallow a whole banana!

--Bryant Park

Overheard by: JC
via Overheard in New York, Sep 1, 2008

Just want to thank everybody who came out for the official Pub Crawl on Saturday. I know there was a fair amount of fratassery going on at the pubs on a Saturday night but I still had a fucking blast.

Overall, the whole fucking long weekend was a complete success. I frolfed two out of three days and had my best score ever (out of three whole times recording strokes) of 71. And then yesterday after 30 minutes of searching for a disc (with many people) and declaring it lost I found it sitting on the edge of the green 20 yards ahead of where we were searching.

Da Bruiser, Empire, and I also debated the various merits of various "fuck-----" words. My favorites of late are fuckshovel and fucktaster, but we were trying to expand the taxonomy of fuck[implement]s.

Fucksaber (or fucksabre!): a favorite of all

Fuckmattock
: sounds too much like Fuckomatic, the sex machine that in tandem with SkyNet will enslave the human race

Fuckaxe: straight, simple, and to the point (note: do not try fuckpickaxe or any other extended variation)

Fucksledge: who couldn't love this word?

Fuckdrill
: obvious, much? bleargh.

Conversations like that make driving 30 minutes to the 'burbs much more enjoyable. If you would like to add your own fuckxxxxs to the canon, feel free to do so in comments. Until next time, fuckrachets.

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