Friday, November 28, 2008

Away Game

Much like Gnome did recently, I played at a new home game. LB and I were stopping by a party that her coworkers were throwing and there just happened to be a poker game going on. Playing in the game was a woman I had met the night before and upon learning she played the game and would be traveling to Vegas I lent her my battered copy of Small Stakes Hold 'Em (now with bonus book review by Dr. Pauly). She invited me to take a seat, and I happily complied.

It was an interesting situation. Most of the people at the party were Icelandic folk celebrating Thanksgiving. Everybody at the table but myself was from Iceland (well, there was an Aussie who lost 3 buy-ins and was gone quickly). Great people who are a lot of fun to hang out with. Especially if the card sharks at the table were the ones who had been playing for "almost a year".

It was .25/.50 NLHE with a $10 buy-in. What did I care, I was just there for a laugh and free beer. I played a straightforward TAG style, showing almost every hand when I didn't get a call. I went to four showdowns all night and won every time, even though the first was a suckout. I just wanted to show an uncomplicated playing style and get invited back when there might be real money at stake.

It was a min-raise fest. One would expect a pushfest with the stack to blind ratio, but soon there was enough money on the table that there was actually room for postflop play. Not that it mattered at this table. If somebody put out a slight overbet they were bluffing, and if they massively overbet they had you beat. And a 1/10 pot size bet was normally a highcard hand.

LB had initially only wanted to stay 30 minutes but we stayed there about 3 hours. I told her we could leave whenever she wanted to go. But every time she came and checked on me she said she could wait for me to get my money back. The only problem was that I was up from my second hand of the night and never looked back. She finally declared we were leaving at midnight. I was fine with that.

I ended up the night plus nine buy-ins. I felt like a jackass because most of the kitty was IOUs since all these people work together, and the host insisted on giving me all cash (85% of cash available, when I had 45% of money on table). I would have been happy with just my buy-in back, but will deal with having drinking mobneys for the weekend.

In the end, it was a great time hanging out with these Icelandic people. It was especially nice that they were celebrating an American holiday with as much force as they could muster. LB's corporate Viking overlords are interesting people and my only regret was not drinking enough. I might have to start attending her company outings. If only I didn't work nights.


Friday, November 07, 2008


For some reason this is the funniest thing I've seen all week.

[h/t With Leather]

Oh, and politics. What the fuck is wrong with people in Cali and the gay marriage ban? Seriously, of all the states with that on the ballot this year I expected them to get it right. And I fuck hate Cali. Use your liberalism for something good you stupid fucks. Stop these stupid lawsuits that fuck with my company's policies and use your liberal douchebaggery for actual liberties.

Oh, and fuck you Obama supporters as well. I'm coming home from work on Tuesday and first notice something amiss when I leave the Publix to head to my house. The normally deserted streets have cars parked on both sides as far as the eyes can see.

Then I get to my parking lot and cars are everywhere. No spots even in the gravel lots. I end up parking in a non-space for my first time in six years. As I'm getting out of my car I notice a guy in my parking lot that used to work with Gnome and Kuro.

"Yo, SS! What the fuck are you doing in my fucking parking lot and I can't find a fucking parking space?! You haven't fucking lived here in four years!"

Turns out Manuel's was having a huge party. The back parking lot had been roped off and they brought out TVs and were serving beer outside. I chatted with SS about the election for a minute (Really, how the fuck do you vote for McCain and then Martin? I'm talking ideological differences, not the fact that Martin is a gargles cocksnot, the fucking doucheweasel. Really, Martin needs to fucking die. His campaign commercials pissed me off more that Toyota's Saved by Zero shit. Eat a bag of dicks, Martin.) and then sent him back to refill the empty beer glass he was carrying.

I didn't have to be watching CNN to know when they called it for Obama. The hue and cry went up with much screaming. OK, cool, it's only 2300 and I'm not going to sleep for a while. The first hour it was no big deal. After the initial eruption died down every five minutes it would start again, now punctuated with car horns and fireworks.

Now, I went to bed the night before at 0230 and slept most fitfully until awaking at 0615 to go vote. I wanted to go to bed "early" and catch up on my sleep. I'm pretty fucking tired. I want to lay down with my eight feather pillows and drift off to dreamland because I need to get up early to check out various eyecare establishments in the morning.

However, there is a small problem here. These fucking bitches won't fucking stop the ruckus. Every five to ten minutes more honking, which starts more cheering. The fireworks are interspersed as well. I almost considered a noise complaint, but I'm pretty sure the people in charge of law enforcement were probably in attendance.

I don't think it stopped until 0400. I'm not sure because me head was buried under my mountain of pillows instead of on top, where it belongs. So two nights in a row I get no fucking sleep. You can imagine how pleasant I was to work with (and for) the next day.

I liken it to my experience with Cubs fans. From a distance they are OK but once they are in your neighborhood they are a bunch of entitled douchenoodles. The sheer fratassery reflects back on who they support.

I hope Obama does well and makes good out of the shit sandwich he is being handed. He has two years before a Republican Congress takes over to do what he can. I just hope these bitches realizes he isn't the Messiah, and if he gets reelected have their fucking party out in the 'burbs. Seriously, fuck those guys. They are as bad as horses.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I voted

Georgia election officials should be fucking ashamed of themselves. In the city that has the best ISyE college in the country should be able to solve easy logistics problems. I showed up at my usual time, 0630, and did not walk out until 0900.

There should not be two incompetent people manning the voter rolls. There should not be at least five voting machines open at all times. There should not be six poll workers standing around with nothing to do.

The people I almost feel sorry for are the sorry ass bitches who were at the back of the line when I left the polling location. The line was at least twice as long as when I joined and much tighter packed. They aren't going to see the inside of that church for close to five hours.

I don't care if it makes me look like an asshole, but senior citizens should only get a pass to the front of the line in the designated hours for them to do so (0930-1630). Fuck those old motherfuckers. They are just voting to get more free shit from the government anyway.

That son of bitch Kuro must have had more competent poll workers. He was a sixteenth of a mile away at his polling location and it took him an hour less to get his vote tallied. The impression I got was his initial line was longer. I might just leave a flaming bag of poo on his porch.

Since there was nobody waiting for my voting machine I took my time. Whenever somebody was running opposed Coach Paul Johnson got written in. I hope the success in the polls doesn't got to his head and make him leave coaching.

Oh well, I did my civic duty so I have a right to complain when the next president /senator /municipal gardener takes over and fucks everything up. And I am pretty sure that they will. They always do, the sad cuntslappers. Anybody who doesn't vote and complains can eat a bag of dicks.

We will just have to wait for fourteen more hours to have a provisional president elect. Then we get to find out which party's lawyers will be making a killing challenging results. I see a lot of fraud happening this year, much like every year.

And the best part of my day? The incredibly fat man in a purple suit with matching purple leather shoes. For some reason I think he was the Democrat's lawyer for my polling location.

Bull Moose, bitches.